Now that I've been officially cleared to walk - yes, I know it's not exercise but at least I can move! - I am starting my physical transformation that will hopefully end in a body that was better than the one I had before I got pregnant! Yes, I have big goals - and I'm excited to get started! I gained 44 pounds while pregnant... my goal was 35 so I'm not too upset about 44. I realized towards the end that there wasn't much I could do about it, especially due to the crazy swelling. So far I've lost 26 pounds (it's been 16 days today) so I feel like that's a good start! And I've done nothing but sit and breast feed. I'm hoping that the number doesn't stall there but if it does I'm still happy with the first 26 coming off so quickly. My goal is to of course get back to my pre-pregnancy weight which would be losing another 18 pounds... but my ultimate goal is to lose an additional 17 pounds which is a total of 35 more pounds... we'll see! I'll keep you updated.
My other goal is to get my skin back to normal. Some of the side effects of this pregnancy included pregnancy mask, stretch marks, and now my oh-so-wonderful Pupps rash. I've started (what I'm calling) my 30 day Mederma challenge for my stretch marks - their product promises a big reduction on stretch marks or your money back so I'm taking that challenge! I've also started to apply some cream to my face and am keeping the Neosporin on all of the scabs I have from scratching my Pupps rash. :/ I look like a little kid that went camping without any bug spray!
I'll be sure to keep you updated with my results!
Friday, July 27, 2012
PUPPS
No, we are not getting a new puppy -- this is Post #2 of my post-pregnancy complications. Around the same time as my hematoma findings, actually the day before, my husband and I were in Target and my stomach was itching like crazy. I didn't pay much attention to it because I thought that it was from my skin and stretch marks (hopefully) shrinking back down to a normal size. The next day is when I found out the grand news of my hematoma and when I got home I looked at my stomach and it looked like it was basically covered in hives. You couldn't even see my stretch marks because it was so red and it went all the way up to where my bra strap was and then stopped. As I started looking around I also realized I had little bumps on my legs and arms so I got on the computer and started googling 'postpartum rash' and found "PUPPS: Pruritic Urticarial Papules and
Again, who thought that I needed to be prepared for all of this after the baby is here?!?
Again, who thought that I needed to be prepared for all of this after the baby is here?!?
HEMA - what?!?
I will continue to Praise God for the wonderful pregnancy that I had with Kwesi. Yes, during the first trimester I had to take it easy and I was on a load of medication... the injections being my favorite of course... but in my opinion, I didn't have a difficult pregnancy. I didn't have acne, morning sickness, or any of the little things that come with pregnancy. Towards the end of the pregnancy, I did have some swelling but I blame that on the 100+ degree temperatures that we were experiencing in May! And on top of that, I was able to have a natural childbirth which I'd been praying about for months. So, I say all of this to say that when the complications started coming after the baby was born I was caught a little off guard. The entire time you're pregnant I think that you forget that life goes on after the baby is actually born. I spent so much time thinking about labor that I didn't think about recovering from such an intense experience that my body would go through. Well I will tell you that I started to think about it pretty much as soon as I got the baby out and the stitches were going in... sorry, maybe a little TMI.
The evening I had Kwesi I was sore (meaning I couldn't even sit down normally on the hospital bed) but I thought it was normal because, well - hello?! I just pushed a baby out of my body! But the following days things kept getting worse and worse. After a few days I sought the advice of my expert nurse-sister and when she found out was going on she said I may want to call the doctor and she gave me some advice to help the pain. When 2 days later I was still VERY uncomfortable and confused about why I was feeling worse rather than better I called the doctor and asked if he could check me out just so I knew nothing was wrong. The doctor took one look at me when I got there and I could tell by the expression on his face that everything was not okay.
"That's a hematoma!" he says. "You were right to come in. We're going to have to cut this open and drain it. I'm sorry. You have to be in a lot of pain!"
A couple different things entered my mind at this time...
1. Um, a hema- what?!?
2. Um, cut and drain?!?!
3. I'm glad that I don't feel stupid for making this appointment and I'm not a wimp for thinking this thing hurts like a mother!
So after some more explanation he tells me that it's basically a huge blood clot - I had one on the outside of my.... birth canal... that was like the size of a hot dog (maybe half as long) and I had one on the inside that was bigger than a plum. The good news was that they weren't spreading and the bad news was that they were huge and not getting any smaller. If left alone they could spread, get infected and basically explode and cause hemorrhaging so it's a good thing we caught it when we did. He continued to say that he couldn't believe I'd been walking around like that and then looked at Edward and said, "Your wife is a beast!"
As soon as they left the room I burst into tears. I was operating (and still am) on a minimal amount of sleep and I was just completely overwhelmed by the whole situation. I knew something was wrong but I was not expecting to have a mini-surgical procedure done while I was there. I won't go into detail about how that went except to say that it didn't feel very good.
The next week I went back for a checkup and had been feeling VERY emotional and VERY anxious the entire week. I started feeling like this was going to be the end for me and asking Edward "if I die" questions. This may sound funny but it's a scary feeling. I now think after talking to my sister, the Dr., and another midwife, that I was suffering from Postpartum Anxiety - not depression - which I didn't even know existed. Anyway, just like I thought, the blood clot inside had grown again so he had to drain it again and put packing inside to stop it from growing. After my last checkup, which was yesterday, I've been cleared for the next couple weeks and finally got a good report - PRAISE THE LORD! He told me that I can actually start walking around so I was very happy about that too - I've already started cleaning up around the house a little. :)
I guess my point in posting this very personal experience comes with a piece of advice. I'm one of those people who does not like the doctor and who also does not like to ask for help - and I'm always scared that I'm making a big deal about something that I shouldn't -- well, in this case I'm glad I went with my gut and had things checked out. If you are one of those people who put things off and say you are sure everything will be fine, I advise you to go to the doctor or where ever would help - you may end up getting help and feeling a lot better.
P.S. My doctor also told me not to google hematoma as it may cause me to have a panic attack - and I listened. I advise you to do the same. :)
The evening I had Kwesi I was sore (meaning I couldn't even sit down normally on the hospital bed) but I thought it was normal because, well - hello?! I just pushed a baby out of my body! But the following days things kept getting worse and worse. After a few days I sought the advice of my expert nurse-sister and when she found out was going on she said I may want to call the doctor and she gave me some advice to help the pain. When 2 days later I was still VERY uncomfortable and confused about why I was feeling worse rather than better I called the doctor and asked if he could check me out just so I knew nothing was wrong. The doctor took one look at me when I got there and I could tell by the expression on his face that everything was not okay.
"That's a hematoma!" he says. "You were right to come in. We're going to have to cut this open and drain it. I'm sorry. You have to be in a lot of pain!"
A couple different things entered my mind at this time...
1. Um, a hema- what?!?
2. Um, cut and drain?!?!
3. I'm glad that I don't feel stupid for making this appointment and I'm not a wimp for thinking this thing hurts like a mother!
So after some more explanation he tells me that it's basically a huge blood clot - I had one on the outside of my.... birth canal... that was like the size of a hot dog (maybe half as long) and I had one on the inside that was bigger than a plum. The good news was that they weren't spreading and the bad news was that they were huge and not getting any smaller. If left alone they could spread, get infected and basically explode and cause hemorrhaging so it's a good thing we caught it when we did. He continued to say that he couldn't believe I'd been walking around like that and then looked at Edward and said, "Your wife is a beast!"
As soon as they left the room I burst into tears. I was operating (and still am) on a minimal amount of sleep and I was just completely overwhelmed by the whole situation. I knew something was wrong but I was not expecting to have a mini-surgical procedure done while I was there. I won't go into detail about how that went except to say that it didn't feel very good.
The next week I went back for a checkup and had been feeling VERY emotional and VERY anxious the entire week. I started feeling like this was going to be the end for me and asking Edward "if I die" questions. This may sound funny but it's a scary feeling. I now think after talking to my sister, the Dr., and another midwife, that I was suffering from Postpartum Anxiety - not depression - which I didn't even know existed. Anyway, just like I thought, the blood clot inside had grown again so he had to drain it again and put packing inside to stop it from growing. After my last checkup, which was yesterday, I've been cleared for the next couple weeks and finally got a good report - PRAISE THE LORD! He told me that I can actually start walking around so I was very happy about that too - I've already started cleaning up around the house a little. :)
I guess my point in posting this very personal experience comes with a piece of advice. I'm one of those people who does not like the doctor and who also does not like to ask for help - and I'm always scared that I'm making a big deal about something that I shouldn't -- well, in this case I'm glad I went with my gut and had things checked out. If you are one of those people who put things off and say you are sure everything will be fine, I advise you to go to the doctor or where ever would help - you may end up getting help and feeling a lot better.
P.S. My doctor also told me not to google hematoma as it may cause me to have a panic attack - and I listened. I advise you to do the same. :)
Introducing Kwesi!!
I'd like to introduce our little handsome man, Kwesi. He was born on July 11, 2012 weighing 7lb 6 oz and was 20 inches long. This is him in his car seat for the first time leaving the hospital!
I have to say... usually I'm pretty good at describing my feelings or putting my thoughts into a blog. When I think about writing how I feel about Kwesi I don't know where to start. I know that many of you who are parents already know exactly what I'm talking about - although I have to say that I believe that for Edward and I it's a bit different. It's been a little over 3 years since Edward and I first thought we were going to have a baby. And after our first miscarriage I was sure that I'd never have a child of my own - at least that I would have one naturally. When I was young I remember saying that I thought I'd never be able to have kids and so when I had my first miscarriage it just confirmed that thought. I've never felt so much anger, pain and hurt in my life. And then after the 2nd and 3rd miscarriage - well, no one could convince me that we'd ever be parents to a child that we created. Of course when we stopped trying, God gave us Kwesi. And I'll be honest. When I look at him I wouldn't say that I feel happiness... I feel like the word happy is kind of superficial or not serious enough to describe the extreme joy and thankfulness and pure gratitude I have when looking at my son. Those of you who know me know that I don't have much of a mom personality... I guess is the best way I can put it. Well, this little man has stolen my heart. And much to my surprise (and my husband's) I feel that everything that's come along with him feels very natural. He just feels right. And being his mom feels right. Edward and I never felt like anything was missing from our relationship or marriage but I can say that now we definitely feel like he's the most perfect addition and we thank God that he's given us this miraculous gift.
I have to say... usually I'm pretty good at describing my feelings or putting my thoughts into a blog. When I think about writing how I feel about Kwesi I don't know where to start. I know that many of you who are parents already know exactly what I'm talking about - although I have to say that I believe that for Edward and I it's a bit different. It's been a little over 3 years since Edward and I first thought we were going to have a baby. And after our first miscarriage I was sure that I'd never have a child of my own - at least that I would have one naturally. When I was young I remember saying that I thought I'd never be able to have kids and so when I had my first miscarriage it just confirmed that thought. I've never felt so much anger, pain and hurt in my life. And then after the 2nd and 3rd miscarriage - well, no one could convince me that we'd ever be parents to a child that we created. Of course when we stopped trying, God gave us Kwesi. And I'll be honest. When I look at him I wouldn't say that I feel happiness... I feel like the word happy is kind of superficial or not serious enough to describe the extreme joy and thankfulness and pure gratitude I have when looking at my son. Those of you who know me know that I don't have much of a mom personality... I guess is the best way I can put it. Well, this little man has stolen my heart. And much to my surprise (and my husband's) I feel that everything that's come along with him feels very natural. He just feels right. And being his mom feels right. Edward and I never felt like anything was missing from our relationship or marriage but I can say that now we definitely feel like he's the most perfect addition and we thank God that he's given us this miraculous gift.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Like the title says... NEVER a dull moment!
A couple weeks ago I started to write a blog about the doctors appointment that I had just came from and never finished the post --
The paragraph below was written on Tuesday, July 10th..
After last weeks doctors appointment, I tried not to have high expectations as to what my progress would be with the pregnancy. I've read countless articles and posts online about women who go to the doctor and get 'checked' only to be told that they aren't making any progress towards having their babies and I know that this point of pregnancy has to be really tough for some people. I mean, let's face it - there are not too many patient people left out there... at least not in a society where everything comes to you as soon as you want it or as fast as you can drive to get it! However, I've been pretty proud of myself because I'm not feeling anxious or ready in the way of "just get this baby out of me" which is how most people get - But I'm not going to lie... My doctor told me today that I've made great progress in one week, going from nothing at all last week to 1.5 cm dilated and 50% effaced this week! And even though I know it is totally possible to stay at the same point for weeks to come, I'm very excited! I've been having contractions for a while now but they've definitely been more painful in the last few days so hopefully they continue!
Well, that night a couple of things happened. I told Edward that I really wanted to take a walk because I'd heard that you are supposed to walk everyday in the last few weeks of pregnancy - right before we left on our walk we saw a full rainbow outside of our house - Ed made a video of it actually... really cool. You could see where it began and ended which is obviously pretty rare. When we went on our walk later that night we also saw a shooting star so I turned to Edward and said, "A full rainbow and a shooting star?!" and continued to make some smart remark about how I was probably going to go into labor that night. At 9:55 p.m. I looked at my iPhone because I'd been having contractions that I thought were pretty regular - I'd been having contractions for weeks so it wasn't a big deal but I just kind of thought I should start timing them to see if they were regular. I took a shower and went to sleep and starting timing them on a handy App that I have on my phone. Throughout the night I woke up about twice an hour because of contractions - like I said, I'd had contraction before but they didn't hurt too bad and definitely had never woken me up. When I woke up I started timing them and they were between 10 and 15 minutes apart so I called work and said I was going to stay home and see what happened. Actually I said, "I'm having contractions so I'm going to stay home for a while and I'll be in later if/when they stop." Edward left for work and I continued to lay in bed - after an hour or so I called my mom and sister to let them know I stayed home from work and my sister suggested I take a shower and shave just in case - so I got in the shower, shaved my legs and then continued to time contractions. When Edward came home from lunch I was sitting on his exercise ball taking deep breaths - he looked a little confused and said, "What's going on?" Of course I looked at him (confused as well) and said, "I'm in labor." At this point I realized that instead of saying that I was having contractions all day- which I'd been saying for 2 weeks - I should have described this in another way. He started to help me take the time and for the next couple of hours we sat in the room and he rubbed my back, put washcloth's on the back of my neck, brought me trash cans when I had to vomit and then started to get our bags together (somewhere throughout this time he said, "Um, I don't think I should go back to work".... yeah, probably a good idea!). When my contractions were 3-6 minutes apart for a little over an hour and when I started to think that I wouldn't be able to walk in the hospital if I waited much longer I told Edward it was time -
We arrived at the hospital at 4:50 p.m. I could tell the nurse was used to women coming in who had a long time left because she took her time checking me in even though I told her my contractions were less than 5 minutes apart. I told her that I didn't want an I.V. and that I planned on having the baby without pain medication. When she finally came back and checked me she looked really surprised and said, "Oh! You are already 5 centimeters... let me get the doctor." Shortly after that my sister arrived and the doctor came in and checked me and asked if I was ready to push! Everybody was a little in shock except for me - I was relieved and felt ready to have the baby -- and not too long after that, (@ 6:08p.m. to be exact) our angel was born!! I couldn't thank God enough for how my labor progressed and it's only through him that I was able to have Kwesi with no pain medication and no complications to follow. Edward and I feel extremely blessed and every day it's hard for me to believe that I'm so lucky.
Pictures and introduction to follow! Stay tuned!!
The paragraph below was written on Tuesday, July 10th..
After last weeks doctors appointment, I tried not to have high expectations as to what my progress would be with the pregnancy. I've read countless articles and posts online about women who go to the doctor and get 'checked' only to be told that they aren't making any progress towards having their babies and I know that this point of pregnancy has to be really tough for some people. I mean, let's face it - there are not too many patient people left out there... at least not in a society where everything comes to you as soon as you want it or as fast as you can drive to get it! However, I've been pretty proud of myself because I'm not feeling anxious or ready in the way of "just get this baby out of me" which is how most people get - But I'm not going to lie... My doctor told me today that I've made great progress in one week, going from nothing at all last week to 1.5 cm dilated and 50% effaced this week! And even though I know it is totally possible to stay at the same point for weeks to come, I'm very excited! I've been having contractions for a while now but they've definitely been more painful in the last few days so hopefully they continue!
Well, that night a couple of things happened. I told Edward that I really wanted to take a walk because I'd heard that you are supposed to walk everyday in the last few weeks of pregnancy - right before we left on our walk we saw a full rainbow outside of our house - Ed made a video of it actually... really cool. You could see where it began and ended which is obviously pretty rare. When we went on our walk later that night we also saw a shooting star so I turned to Edward and said, "A full rainbow and a shooting star?!" and continued to make some smart remark about how I was probably going to go into labor that night. At 9:55 p.m. I looked at my iPhone because I'd been having contractions that I thought were pretty regular - I'd been having contractions for weeks so it wasn't a big deal but I just kind of thought I should start timing them to see if they were regular. I took a shower and went to sleep and starting timing them on a handy App that I have on my phone. Throughout the night I woke up about twice an hour because of contractions - like I said, I'd had contraction before but they didn't hurt too bad and definitely had never woken me up. When I woke up I started timing them and they were between 10 and 15 minutes apart so I called work and said I was going to stay home and see what happened. Actually I said, "I'm having contractions so I'm going to stay home for a while and I'll be in later if/when they stop." Edward left for work and I continued to lay in bed - after an hour or so I called my mom and sister to let them know I stayed home from work and my sister suggested I take a shower and shave just in case - so I got in the shower, shaved my legs and then continued to time contractions. When Edward came home from lunch I was sitting on his exercise ball taking deep breaths - he looked a little confused and said, "What's going on?" Of course I looked at him (confused as well) and said, "I'm in labor." At this point I realized that instead of saying that I was having contractions all day- which I'd been saying for 2 weeks - I should have described this in another way. He started to help me take the time and for the next couple of hours we sat in the room and he rubbed my back, put washcloth's on the back of my neck, brought me trash cans when I had to vomit and then started to get our bags together (somewhere throughout this time he said, "Um, I don't think I should go back to work".... yeah, probably a good idea!). When my contractions were 3-6 minutes apart for a little over an hour and when I started to think that I wouldn't be able to walk in the hospital if I waited much longer I told Edward it was time -
We arrived at the hospital at 4:50 p.m. I could tell the nurse was used to women coming in who had a long time left because she took her time checking me in even though I told her my contractions were less than 5 minutes apart. I told her that I didn't want an I.V. and that I planned on having the baby without pain medication. When she finally came back and checked me she looked really surprised and said, "Oh! You are already 5 centimeters... let me get the doctor." Shortly after that my sister arrived and the doctor came in and checked me and asked if I was ready to push! Everybody was a little in shock except for me - I was relieved and felt ready to have the baby -- and not too long after that, (@ 6:08p.m. to be exact) our angel was born!! I couldn't thank God enough for how my labor progressed and it's only through him that I was able to have Kwesi with no pain medication and no complications to follow. Edward and I feel extremely blessed and every day it's hard for me to believe that I'm so lucky.
Pictures and introduction to follow! Stay tuned!!
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Time for a change!
For the past couple of months I've been feeling a little... well, blah. With the wonderful additions of stretch marks, pregnancy mask (for those of you who don't know what this is, it's when you get brown spots or uneven splotches on your face... my face has turned into one big brown spot - it's lovely and makes me feel oh so attractive), weight gain, and not even being able to fit into my maternity clothes, I needed a change. The only thing that I really have control over or can change right now is my hair and I've done that often for the past year. I've had brown, blonde, caramel, red... just about every color you can make your hair - I've done it. Then a couple of weeks ago when it became a reality that I was having a baby (yes, I realize it should have been realistic as soon as my stomach began to grow but let me remind you that I'm not the most normal pregnancy case around) the first thing I thought of was that the baby was going to see me and I wasn't going to look like myself. Now I realize that babies can hardly even see and there is no chance at all that he's going to remember what I looked like the day he came out of the womb BUT I had this odd feeling that I wanted to at least look a little more like my natural self when he is born. So after browsing many pictures on the internet and magazines I decided to chop some inches off of my hair and turn it back... well, closer to my natural color. Here's the outcome!... (p.s. I don't smile in pictures right now because my face is SO fat!.. and I guess a more fair comparison would be if I didn't curl and fix my hair in the 'after' picture but you get the point. :) )
Before: After:
Full Term
If you can't see the picture clearly (I know, it's a little fuzzy) the sign says, "37 1/2 weeks"... which officially means I am full term! That belly is no joke! I was better at taking photos when I first became pregnant but I have enough to show growth - if you're interested in the other pictures, they are under my 'photos' tab. Maybe (and hopefully) this will be the last picture? I definitely don't want to take one that says '40' but I will if I get there!
Oh, and here's a picture of Ed @ 37.5 weeks :)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)